I am still in the process of treatment. I read this book many years ago with my children. I was a required reading for elementary school children. I threw it away when I moved but I bought it again. It appealed to as a fresh experience. They say that good books always impress you every time you read them. 

Mr. Kim always emphasized that there are things you must never do before you complete the treatment. He would say, “Please, don't do things people advise you to do. They are not the way to go. Don't do things that look like the right thing. Just don't cope with any situation." He also said, “Now is not a good time for getting a divorce. You have the ability to be happy whether you get a divorce or not.”

I want to be a butterfly. The striped caterpillar wander about in the world and struggle in the mud. And then, he finds a beautiful butterfly. He hesitated but tried hard with the help of the butterfly and eventually, becomes a beautiful swallowtail and flies high. 

This is the key point that Mr. Kim tells us. You must treat yourself and build happiness ability by doing your best without paying attention to your spouse. Then, you will become a butterfly from a caterpillar and you can give an opportunity to your husband to treat himself. You have nothing to fear since you are already flying as a butterfly even if your spouse refuses to go with you. You can fly alone or with others. You will meet a butterfly instead of a caterpillar. 

Another point is that you must become a butterfly to be able to lead your family to become butterflies. When you stay as a caterpillar, your spouse and children cannot have an opportunity to become butterflies. You may understand how meaningless it is to have discussions and conversations with the spouse, who is still struggling in the mud. 

Thank you for recommending the book. I have also started reading 'The Screwtape Letters' by C. S. Lewis. I hope we will all meet again as butterflies.